Warning:  The blog post you are about to read may be a little on the long side.  Please make sure your hands,feet, and sense of reality are with you at all times and enjoy the ride.  If you experience insanity levels that rise to levels ridiculous enough to make you question said sense of reality, or just your own existence, then please… whatever you do… don’t hate me.

Ya know, it feels like spontaneity is one of those things that I’m after and yet can’t “capture.”  They say you can’t capture lightning in a bottle, and they also say that lightning never strikes the same place twice.  Well, I don’t have a bottle nor has it been thundery around here.  I could use a little rain around here.  While I don’t completely mind the hot weather, the occasional rainy day is nice and relaxing.  I used to always need an umbrella whenever it’d be rainy on my high school campus.  Eventually, though, I was like, “Ehh… screw it, I’m walking through the rain with nothing at all.  Nothing at all!  Nothing at all!”

So anyway, I was kinda’ like that.  I’m still like that whenever it rains.  If it ever gets heavy, of course I’d need an umbrella.  I mean can you imagine walking without an umbrella, practically getting pummeled by insane drops of rain?  Not a very pleasant feeling.  And if you’re a guy (like me) who’s a little… shall we say, sensitive in a certain area, then you better start wearing those crotch protective things from little league practice.  I know they’re called cups, but I never know who’s reading this and if those things have different names in other parts of the world.  They’re also called groin protectors, and if you’re easily frightened by… a guy’s special area, I advice you not to google “groin protectors.”

…don’t think about it.  Like I said, do not google it.  It’ll be like looking at extreme close-ups of David Bowie body-doubles from Labyrinth.  I repeat… do NOT google it.*

Of course, crotch protection is a necessity for any physical activity, so I’m not saying, “Come on men, man up and take it like a man.”  I know if I was ever forced into a scenario in which a good kick to the crotch (why does that sound familiar…) were a high possibility, I’d be begging for a junk protector.  Heck, I’d probably even get on my knees and cry if I was told they ran out of ’em.  Then I would tell them that I would take ’em out for lunch if they would be so kind as to get me a crotch guard no matter what.  That or I’d just forfeit.

Wow, that was a real tangent.  Yea, expect a lot of those.  I used to do a lot of writing like that.  Heck, I even wrote a story in that on-going ramble fashion, tangents and everything.  The story was told from an unheard-of Jurassic Park survivor.  I guess that technically makes it fan fiction, so… yea.  Hey I had a lot of free time on my hands (and still do, actually), and I was feeling a little productive so I figured why not.  If someone else were there, they surely would’ve said, “It’s a stupid idea, that’s why.”  Well, to be fair it does sound stupid (but not devoid of a rather morbid sense of fun, so give me credit for that).  The fact that I finished the whole thing makes it really outrageous, truly TRULY outrageous.  Couldn’t resist saying that.  But anyway, If you’re interested in reading it, do say so.  I’d need to figure out where to upload it though.  Maybe linking  a pdf could work or something.  Ooh… or Wattpad.  I could look into that.

Well, with all that said I feel like it’s time to talk about something else.  “Like what?” you’re probably wondering.  Actually I’m sorta’ wondering that too.  I guess the funny thing about answers is that you don’t always have them.  We like to think we have all the answers to things, but many times we have to either search for them or create them.  Whichever it is, you know we’ll need or want them.  But get too many answers, and you just may be in over your head.

Yea actually it’s not a bad idea to make a list of possible topics and pick from it every time I do a post.  Not a bad idea at all.  The other posts have been largely improvised and so has this one.  I’m not sure if that shows or not, but one thing’s for sure… we’re all doomed if I eventually find myself doing a post one day where I start rambling about the journeys of a hyperthymesiac.

Hmm, that could actually be funny.  May have to do something with that.

*you actually googled it didn’t ya?  holy balls… er, no pun intended