I don’t eat snacks like I used to.  Whenever I do feel like eating one, my immediate response is either, “Maybe not,” or, “Maybe I’ll have this with my next meal.”  And it’s funny, I think it’s mostly because I am starting to lessen the amount of food that I eat.  It’s not like I’m starving myself though.  After all, I’m not sinister.  This is just about a little self-control.  And really, isn’t self-control always a good thing?  I mean if some guy can’t control any mannerisms that involve throwing plates of food at someone’s face, I’d say that’s bad.  Maybe funny if done in an exaggerated way where the target flies back like a muppet, but overall… bad.  So I like to think that even a little self-control goes a long way.

But here’s the thing, there are a lot of cats out there who can’t restrain themselves from things like this.  Many times they end up wanting to go back in time to undo any moments where they’ve caved in.  And after those moments go by, they feel like smacking their self with a nearby object.  If that were me, I’d probably resort to using a beverage bottle.  Most likely a water bottle since that’s really all I have near me right now.  Well okay I also have my phone and TV remote near me, but I really don’t wanna wreck any piece of technology just so I can induce a little self-control.  Again, I’m not sinister.

And ya know something, I don’t think I ever will be.  I’m always following my dorky side.  My philosophy, if ya don’t laugh at yourself or celebrate your dorkiness in someway, you just might turn into a sinister ass hat.  Nobody, and I repeat… nobody wants to be a sinister ass hat.  Or any kind of ass hat, really.  These sorta’ ideas won’t get you anywhere and you’re not gonna last long if all you do is dedicate said thoughts to the idea that you’re one of those aforementioned ass hats.  

You can probably tell what one of my favourite insults is.  I can’t help it, I like saying ass hat.  It’s got something a little on the catchy side doesn’t it?  Plus, it creates a hilarious image of someone having a hat just resting on their butt cheeks.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the world needs more funny insults.  

Well, that and also newly-produced sitcoms that feel like they’re from the 90s, but I guess that’s asking for too much so I’m gonna have to stick to Blossom reruns.