Do you ever have something that always somehow confuses you or gets you mixed up? Like, I’m thinking of words right now, and one thing that always gives me a brain-fart is when I say mushroom instead of marshmallow, or marshmallow instead of mushroom. Imagine the look on someone’s face when I say I need cream of marshmallow soup. I mean… it could be tasty, sure. Maybe like melted ambrosia. But a lot of the times, whenever this sorta’ thing happens, I just want to take the nearest instrument and whack myself across the head. And then I’d question why a random instrument is in a grocery store.

I feel like I wouldn’t trust grocery store instruments. No, I’m not setting up a pun in which I say they don’t strike a chord with me, I’m saying that I wouldn’t even think of buying certain instruments if I saw them in a food store. I say certain instruments because I have seen decent-looking keyboards in the electronics section of a Walmart.

Of course, Walmart has almost everything. So maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. What would surprise me, though, is if it turns out they have something really unexpected like… um, erotic toys. But then again, anything could be an erotic toy if someone is really desperate and creative. They could probably even use a sweet potato for… unmentionable things.

Ya know what? The less we think about this, the better. I’ve never been graphically raunchy with frightening concepts like this, and I don’t think I’ll be doing that anytime soon.  I really don’t want to go down that path. The last thing I would ever do is make someone think of a sweet potato or cucumber in a whole new context that makes them want to stop eating that food.

I mean seriously, this is a path that should not be taken.  Like, ever.  Unless maybe someone is into that sorta’ thing, in which case… go nuts?

 

 

 

I should really explore why I wake up with the most random things in my mind. One day, it might be a song from Mary Poppins, another day might have me wondering why I would be coaching a soccer team to victory despite the fact that I’ve never coached anyone, and then on another day, it could be thoughts regarding a dream in which a tyrannosaurus was obsessed with eating Starburst.

Yeah, that last one was a thing. It felt like something out of a kids film from the 90’s. In fact, it might’ve been a scene or running joke in one of those films. Ever see those Prehysteria movies? It would totally fit. Those movies had all sorts of 90’s tropes. Silly power hungry villain? Check. Comical assistants to the bad guy who are like 90’s versions of Laurel & Hardy? Double check. Kid actors who overact and yet somehow manage to be more believable than the adult actors save for maybe a couple actors who play the parents? You better believe that’s a check.

Seriously, re-watch just about any wacky family film from the 90’s and you’ll very likely see all or most of these tropes. The movies from Moonbeam Films (formerly named Moonbeam Entertainment), in particular, used these tropes perfectly.  Many films did, but theirs come to mind.  I feel like I should dig out some VHS tapes and look through ’em, that’d be a fun time. I mean… what’s the worst that could happen? I grew up on ’em and feel fine right now, so I doubt they’d kill any brain cells.

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You know what… I could probably do something with brain activity that’s supposedly been altered by wacky 90’s movies.  Ever hear of those inspiring stories where people defy the odds and do something incredible despite having gone through insane experiences?  That’s where the power of neuroplasticity comes in! And maybe the power of OxiClean too, in case we want to please Billy Mays fans. They look like a fun easygoing bunch.

I have to admit, I wasn’t really a huge fan of Billy Mays’ approach to yelling at the camera as he’d sell stuff, but he seemed like a nice guy and it’s cool knowing that he did help increase sales for the things he’d advertise.  Credit where credit is due, ya know?  It made him memorable and, thus, made the products memorable.

Speaking of credit, I may have some around here. Store credit, that is. And if I do, it’s very likely in the form of a card. If anyone sees it, or has any kind of store credit, go ahead and take a photo of it on Instagram, tag me, and tease me by saying something like, “This is mine, not yours,” or, “You’re not gonna get this.”  Link’s in the upper right thing if you’re tempted.

I mean… it could be funny, and it’s not like I’m busy or anything. Not yet at least. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In the end, I probably shouldn’t question why stuff just pops into my head upon waking up or why words get mixed around.  It seems to be a natural thing for many people and, let’s face it, there are still unsolved mysteries surrounding the human brain and what we’re capable of.

And because of that, you bet your hiney that Robert Stack will wake up from beyond the grave and narrate it, giving everybody nightmares about things we’d never want to think about.  See you next week! o/

 

Terrifying.