All sorts of things have been on my mind lately. From creative ideas, to new things I want to implement here, life goals outside of the blog, and also the craft behind it all.

Sometimes it feels like I have a very busy brain, and that I need to step back and clear my mind. And after that, I’m finally able to focus on a blog entry or something else that needs to be done. This time though, I figured it’s time to just run through a lot of what’s been on my mind and then share that with all of you.

With that said, let’s get started.

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I’ve mentioned in a couple other posts that I think about many things when washing dishes. These days, I’ve been thinking about where it all started for me and why. And when I say “it,” I mean every creative activity I’ve ever dabbled in. And from there, personal expression as a whole (especially in regards to writing and performance).

The things that inspired me as a kid, plus everything I got into during high school, and also the more recent things that have been motivating me have all played some part in this. They’ve all helped me explore how and why I look at myself the way that I do. It feels like it started as fun stuff for the sake of having fun, but it definitely feels like there’s more to it than that.

I’ve been having dreams for a while that open me up to a life that feels close to reality, and yet isn’t entirely in my grasp. It feels like a lot of things are distracting me from making those dreams into a reality, but I also get the impression that if I can utilize psychological reframing, I can look at challenges differently and actually get closer to achieving my goals. Not just creative goals, but professional and personal goals too.

From writing and drawing, to videos I did during my mid-teen years, and especially voice recordings I did for fun not long ago, all of it has helped in letting me think of myself in ways that I wouldn’t have thought of as a little kid. And then with the more recent things that I enjoy learning about, it feels that there’s even more to look forward to that I wish could happen sooner.

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It’s hard to describe everything I feel from it, but all these things that have inspired and influenced me (in terms of personality and my overall self-image) have fueled my dreams, and in turn, those have fueled everything I want to create. It’s almost like an endless loop that I can’t get enough of, and at the same time, I don’t get enough of purely because of how random my brain works every time I go to sleep.

I can’t be the only one who feels this way, right? If anyone else knows what I’m talking about and has felt the same thing, definitely say so. I’d love to see someone else’s perspective on this.

When I think about the “why” behind all this, I always have a hard time trying to pinpoint a single statement that I could use to describe what I’ve always been after. But maybe it’s something that won’t have a single answer. Maybe there will always be a lot for me to go into. I just hope that it won’t give me a headache when I do feel like I have something close to an answer.

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Heh, and speaking of headaches, I’ve found that after having those vivid dreams in which I’m living my desired life, I always wake up and have a bit of a headache. It’s just like whenever I’ve woken up from a prolonged lucid dream (though according to Google and other sites, that had to have been a sign of dehydration).

Anyway, I think about how all the writing and other things I’ve experimented with have helped me “unclog” those thoughts & energies, and it feels like those dreams help me “unclog” in a different way. It’s like all these creative and social energies are always building up inside and I want to release it and keep it going. I always want to do something about it, I’ve always been looking for ways to express it, and now here I am writing it all out in an attempt to “unclog” my brain.

I always find it interesting how a lot of this has come together. In a way, it feels like it makes sense for me to have developed my interests the way they’ve unfolded. I do like to think how things might’ve gone if, for instance, I wrote personal stories based on dreams as a kid. Or if I wrote and produced independent movies during middle school. But for the most part, things feel right. I can still do exciting things, it’s just a matter of starting simple and building towards that goal

With all these other life challenges and goals like finding work and getting a car, it might be a while before I can fully dive into video production. But after thinking about how filming and voice recordings played a part in my journey of expression, it does feel like I could at least talk about how it’s shaped my writing process. Writing last week’s post on productivity was a good start, and I’ll definitely wanna take this idea further, explore it, and share more.

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This post was sort of impromptu, but at the same time, not quite. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a while. It sort of feels like Mingled-up Musings, but where that has random thoughts for entertainment purposes, this has me opening up with random thoughts for introspective/personal reasons. It’s technically behind-the-scenes, it’s a little bit of Something About Me, and yet it’s something new.

I have more of these thoughts I could go into, but for now I’ll leave you with this advice. If you ever feel like you have a “clogged” brain and can’t think clearly, take the time to step back and find or remember your “why.” It’s good to remind yourself about what drives you. And if you don’t know what drives you, give yourself at least 20 minutes to sit in a quiet area and just let it all out. Whether it’s something you say out loud into a voice recording app, film yourself speaking about it, type it, or write in a notebook, just go for it. Explore your thoughts and save them in some form.

And then when you’re done, be ready to do it again. Why? Because it’s likely that you’ll want to do it again. That’s why I’ve been doing this for a while. It can be fun and exciting if you approach it with the right mindset.

Then when you’re done, you can get back to browsing shows on Netflix. I recommend The IT Crowd.

Thanks for reading, I’ll see you next week! 🙂