Sometimes I feel like I can’t organize my thoughts whenever I’m full of energy. I get the impression that many might feel that way, especially if they tend to jump around a lot between various interests. This feels like an instance when one has to do concentrate their energy like a superhero focusing their superpower on one task.

In the case of me being full of energy, it’s as if I want to do a lot with those energies but then feel as if it comes to a halt of sorts when I have to focus on one thing. I like the feeling of that energy, but I hate it when something slows it down. If, for instance, I watch a lot of videos from my favourite content creators and then feel inspired to write and plan something, I’ll want that energy to be present as I’m writing something. And then, when the feeling is not present, I feel like I can’t do the task good enough.

Maybe it’s not about always wanting or needing that feeling, though. Maybe the feeling is always there, and maybe what I want is more about approaching the process with a different perspective so I can get something done. Motivation is always there, but it shouldn’t be a crutch for doing anything.

In short, it’s just a matter of doing something and not overthinking. Heh, ’nuff said.

~

I’ve been thinking about my dreams a lot more than usual. I feel like they open me up to the exciting things I’m always aspiring toward, and yet they also open me up to things I overlook. Not all of ’em have this effect on me, but the ones that resonate with me are always the ones that make me feel like I’m living my life the way I really want to.

Then when I wake up, it feels like a sad farewell to people I’ve met and have become friends with. A lot of times, though, they’ll show up again and it’s like going home again. No matter who I run into, I’m always getting caught up in some escapade that manages to take on a life of its own and then becomes something that creates a lasting impression on me. And even though it might sound weird, all of this motivates me to go out there and be part of something.

A few weeks ago, I had a dream that had a lot of those feelings, and yet it took me by surprise with how it connected to me on an emotional level. Many are often fun and full of crazy things, but this one was more resonant for me.

I met someone who some people perceived as being distant and a little cold. It wasn’t anyone I know in real life (though he definitely reminds me of a couple people I’ve known), it was someone who was running an large organization. He asked that I be brought to him in his office to discuss something. At first, it felt like it was going to be an intimidation game of sorts in terms of nervous energies that we both felt. But after breaking the ice and talking to his workers a bit, I  gave my perspective on what he felt were stressful parts of his job that led to our meeting.

I talked about qualities I observed and things I admired. I even commended his ability to handle things, and touched on how others looked at him. The guy did seem distant at first, but with the way the conversation was unfolding, things took on a different vibe. I was talking in a way that really held his attention and took him by surprise. Then as a final gesture, I gave him something that had a lot of value to me, and I told him that regardless of what happens, he’d always have my trust and respect. He seemed very touched and stepped aside to talk with the others.

After that, he thanked me and offered me a job. I worked alongside him for what I described in the dream as a few years. I became part of his company and its culture, working with incredible people who made me feel like I was part of something important. After those years went by, I resigned on good terms to find success in another field.

As the dream continued, I was told in the later years that he had passed away. I had been writing about my experiences in knowing him, and his assistant gave me a letter that he had written in which he told me his dying words. He said that our initial meeting helped him reconnect with people he had grown somewhat distant from, and that he was able to revitalize old friendships that he had taken for granted in the past.

The assistant told me that he died peacefully in his sleep after writing the letter. I felt sad knowing that he was gone, but it warmed my heart knowing that he was able to reach out just before he died, so there were a lot of emotions. I finished writing those articles about him and shared what I learned from working with him. After that, I continued my new career, running a film production studio as I let his life & words serve as inspiration.

And finally, I woke up from the dream and had to write about it. It probably sounds weird, especially since it wasn’t anyone I know from real-life, but it’s still on my mind and I’m still thinking about what I can learn from it. There are other details I didn’t go into, but I just wanted to get into the gist of the whole thing. I feel like I could take it apart and find new thoughts on it for the years to come. Writing about the dream that morning was oddly meta since I was writing in it, and it was also emotionally hard because the guy had a bit of a fatherly vibe, and yet he was also a good friend who helped me and stayed in touch.

I didn’t expect the whole thing to affect me the way that it did, and even now I’m still processing everything. It sounds oddly random and like something out of a movie, but dreams are oddly random and often feel like movies. Sometimes you don’t know what to make of them until you sit down and write about them.

And even after that, you still might find something that’ll make you think about it for a while.

~

I think about this sort of stuff a lot and often feel like I want to call dreams something else. They’re very vivid and often have me living my life to its fullest extent. There’s also something else about them that I can’t entirely pinpoint, but I feel like they are a way for me to learn something and rethink things. They’re like journeys, and whenever I wake up from them, I feel very driven and want to do something great.

Is that how others look at dreams? I can’t be the only one. It’s all different for everyone, and I know some people just shrug ’em off and go on with their daily lives; but it feels like for me personally, there’s something about them that feels very peculiar and special.

~

I don’t know how else to end this, and this was tricky to write and edit, but thank you for reading. See ya next week!