Yep, it has been a little while since the last entry. I never walked away, I was just really busy. Not only with work, but also moving. I mentioned on Twitter that I was approved for an apartment during the summer and I recently moved in. And now, since my stuff is unpacked and things are more in line with what I envisioned, I’m ready to inch back into creating again.

It’s weird. I knew this was inevitable and yet somehow, for some reason, a small part of me was thinking, “This is happening so fast, it’s too soon to be doing this.” But I knew on another level that it was, in fact, time to seriously change things up and move out. That small part of me was likely nervousness and the thought of, “Oh it won’t happen, they won’t approve you,” but I kept pushing that out of my mind and just focused on what I was doing. The old me that would second-guess different things tried to slow the current me down, but I was done with that. Many things became big factors as I kept pushing myself while I toured various apartments. And the more I did everything, the more I talked to those who’d been showing me around and helping me set up everything, the more I knew that the timing made sense. And not only did it make sense, I knew it was just perfect.

I was unable to check out the actual place before moving in (they were doing some renovating), but I knew the overall style I was getting. I was already getting ideas on how I’d place the furniture, which pieces of furniture I’d get, and how I’d still keep things fairly easy. “Simply and modern” became the idea, so I kept that in mind while shopping for stuff. I didn’t want to spend too much, of course, but I knew not to go too cheap either. It already felt big as I looked for stuff, but it kept getting bigger as the day came closer.

And on the day of the actual move-in, just before I unlocked the door and stepped in, I started telling myself things like, “No going back now, this is what you’ve been building towards,” and, “Well, now for the moment of truth,” and so on and so forth. I knew it was huge, especially since I never really lived on my own before. I’ve always had ideas on what it would be like, and knew I’d do just fine, but still wasn’t sure how things would exactly unfold. Thinking about it for the recent years was one thing, but now I was given the keys and literally stepped into new territory. I walked past the other apartments and enjoyed the scenery, greeting any residents as they’d walk by. Soon, I approached the door and took out the keys. I tried one key that didn’t work, and then tried another that seemed to fit. After a few quick turns, it opened and I stepped in.

It was pretty dark inside, but once I turned the light on and looked around, I got this weird feeling I never felt before. After closing the door behind me and standing quietly, I began to take everything in. It wasn’t just my first apartment. A new phase in my life was starting. I felt this calm and comforting “Welcome home” vibe as I walked around, shutting out everything I was leaving behind as I turned on the other lights. This empty space had been waiting for me, just like how I was waiting for it. And once I finishing looking at each area, it felt like the universe said, “You did good, kid, now make it yours and do your thing.” I knew that moving my stuff in would take a little while, but as I got the essentials and started unpacking, I found myself quickly feeling at home.

As I kept bringing my stuff in, I felt more of that new world opening up and less of the unwanted one. I’d look at things I no longer wanted or needed, and began to look at things almost symbolically. Then while arranging things, I got another odd feeling. It was as if the long-desired reality was fully replacing the one that previously made me feel like I wasn’t part of something. Like the new world was opening even more and reminded me that I am not the way that I used to be, and that I can now be the person I want to be. Moving in wasn’t just about moving into an apartment. It was about giving myself a place where I can be the way I’ve always wanted to see myself. This whole shift has been transformative in more than one way. And though there are a couple things that’ll truly complete my “transformation,” I’m already “there” in some sense of the word.

So what now? Well, since I finally have enough room, I’ll use it to my advantage as I start producing videos that I’ve been wanting to make for a while. Taking the creative stuff to new fields is now more possible than ever. Anyone who’s been reading these entries for a while knows that I’d often talk about making those plans. But now I’ll talk less about making plans so I can focus on making them happen. I’ll still do written entries, but playing around on-camera and experimenting with all things visual will be a huge part of everything as I move forward with this site. I won’t talk too much about the specifics for video ideas, as I expect the finished results to speak for themselves.

As for the next big personal goal? Let’s just say that another thing I’ve been wanting for a long time will be a part of my life. And because I trust my intuition, it will be sooner than I think. I’m already making steps toward bettering myself through other means (more on that in a later entry), so I know that it’s inevitable.

The year isn’t over, and I don’t plan on slowing down. Things have been a little hectic, but things have only just begun. I’m ready for anything, and I’m here to share it. So stick around and put your feet up, the fun is just starting. It’ll be new, and it’ll be different.

I’ll see ya soon!